Today I want to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart: that of miscarriage and infertility. For many women, Mother’s Day can bring about a complex range of emotions. Maybe you are mother to a child that isn’t here, or maybe the thing you want most is it become a mother, but that isn’t happening for you. That was me – year after year thinking that I was alone as a woman in this journey.

In this post, I am styling a pair of the coveted infertility and miscarriage awareness leggings from Lularoe. Unfortunately, I was unable to come by a pair of these, but I found a very similar pair from Charlie’s Project which are just as buttery as Lularoe! I will be giving away a pair and  sharing my story.  My hope is that one day, this will not be a taboo subject that is shoved under the rug!

Legging Giveaway

Growing up, I had never wanted children. I also never wanted to get married, but that changed after I met my husband! After we had been married for about 2 years, something in me shifted and realized that I wanted a child. I knew it would be difficult going in to it as I had severely irregular cycles (as in once a year irregular!), but we started trying anyway. I went to the doctor and they diagnosed me with PCOS. This was something I pretty much already knew, but being formally diagnosed helped to speed along the process being approved for fertility treatments. You kind of think going in to it that the treatments are a magic cure and you’ll get pregnant immediately. That is not what happened. Treatment after treatment failed. I gained a lot of weight and was pretty much crazy all the time from the hormones. You watch as all of your friends get pregnant and think to yourself that “this” will be the time and it will finally be worth it. You get asked all of the time when you are going to have a child by people that just assume it is that easy for everyone.

Lularoe Infertility leggings
After 3 years of different invasive treatments, I decided that I had had enough and that if I didn’t get pregnant that cycle, I was done with all of it. That cycle I got pregnant. I was elated! It had finally happened for me! And then we found out that I was pregnant with quadruplets – one set of identical twins and one set of fraternal. That was when reality came crashing back down. This was not over: It would be yet another struggle in a series of what seemed like never ending struggles. This would not be my time to be happy and “enjoy it”. Then came the never ending questions. Did you have help? Do multiples run in your family? Are you going to reduce?

Lularoe miscarriage leggings
At this point, I was terrified but in the back of my mind kept thinking that out of four, one of them just HAD to be able to make it to term. I began to have weekly checkups. I lost the first one before the end of the first trimester. I managed to keep it together until later in my second trimester, I lost the pair of identical twins. “Be glad that they’re dead now and you don’t have to worry about this later” the doctor told me. At that point, I lost it and the entire rest of the pregnancy was a terrible kind of torture for me. I would search for a heartbeat every couple of hours and every appointment was pure torture as I just “Knew” that this would be the time they told me that he hadn’t made it.

Charlie's Project legging

On April 19th, 2013, I had my son. He is the most STUBBORN being known to man and I think that he survived out of pure stubbornness! I am incredibly proud and blessed to be his mother!

Lularoe leggings
Miscarriage and infertility are still one of those “taboo” things that people don’t like to talk about. As a result, many women feel like they’re alone; like no one else understands what they are going through. According to the CDC, about 10% of women experience infertility. And 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. That is a lot of people. Chances are, at least several people that you know have experienced loss or infertility.

If you are someone who is going through this now, know that you are not alone. If you have a friend that is going through this, just be there for them. Be mindful of asking others when they are going to start a family. You never know anyone’s circumstances and that can be a stab to the heart.

Entry is below – Good luck!

Until next time,

Heidi Dee

 

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About heididee@yahoo.com

53 thoughts on “Mother’s Day, Miscarriage and Infertility: The Elephant in the Room”

  1. Your story is so real and candid! This is a topic that needs to be talked about as much as possible. Its a reality for a lot of women! Thank you for sharing! And happy belated birthday to your little guy!

  2. I am so glad that you were able to have a child, and so sorry for the ones that didn’t make it. :,( I hope I never have to experience that kind of pain, although I know many women who have. This was a good reminder to be more aware of, and sensitive to, people who battle infertility and miscarriage.

  3. My story is very similar to yours. Growing up, I didn’t really want kids. My views changed completely once I grew up and got married. I tried for four years to get pregnant. After two miscarriages and so many different procedures, I finally said no to the drugs and six months later I was pregnant and it was a success! I’m so glad you were finally able to have a son. I don’t think people know what to say to a woman who has miscarried, so they usually end up saying the wrong thing. I heard it all, too.

  4. Wow I’m so happy that you were able to have a child after all that! My hope is that if these things start becoming more talked about, people will not be so unsure of how to talk to someone going through this!

  5. What a powerful story, thank you for being so vulnerable. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to go through all of that but I know that sharing your journey will encourage and uplift many mothers or hoping-to-be mothers out there. God bless <3

  6. Don’t think I know very many women who haven’t experienced at least one miscarriage. Infertility there are advances today but doesn’t work for everyone. Nice to see awareness being brought forward.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story. I had a blighted ovum before, which basically means I just had a bunch of cells that never formed a baby. It was an experience, that’s for sure.

  8. I love LulaRoe but now I have to check out Charlie’s Project. It’s awesome of you to write about this and to have a giveaway for awareness. My childhood best friend has PCOS and would love to read this.

  9. While reading your posts I can feel the sadness and pain over what you have been through but in the end happiness still won and I am so glad he made it! During that time stubbornness is a good thing. I hope every women who is going through some problems would also find the courage to try and try and be positive.

  10. Loosing our son at five months along was one of the most painful things I’ve been through. I think we all handle it differently, yet also hold some type of connection and respect.

  11. I’m so sorry to hear that Jenn. I know that for me, talking to other people in support groups was a huge help!

  12. Wow, I can’t even imagine how you felt then, that must be so hard losing three but you have the lucky one. I’m so sorry you have to go through this but I can tell that you are very strong.

  13. Thank you for sharing! My husband and I lost three pregnancies through miscarriage followed by 3 years of being unable to conceive. We’re working on adoption right now but Mother’s Day can definitely be a bit rough.

  14. I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what this would have been like for you. I was diagnosed with endometriosis and told I wouldn’t be able to have children and luckily fell pregnant with my beautiful little girl. I am not sure I can have another one though and it makes the conversation hard when people ask when I am having another one.

  15. That is amazing! I have a friend who had the same circumstance happen to her. The other day I had someone telling me that I was selfish for having only one -_- We may only have one, but I’m pretty sure they will be amazing because we love them that much more!

  16. I know exactly how you feel. It isn’t something that I like to talk about, but I had two miscarriages before I finally had my daughter. Those were tough and I thought that I would never be able to have a normal pregnancy. I am glad to say that my daughter is now 20 years old and doing fine!

  17. I’m so sorry to hear that. I know that I kept friends and family in a complete blackout for a while. This is not a conversation that we as a society often have. I only started to share once I saw friends going through similar situations.

  18. I think it is fantastic that you are sharing your story. Like you said, miscarriages and infertility has unfortunately become “taboo” but I think it’s important for all of us to be aware and well-educated on the subjects. Your son is beautiful and so are you!

  19. Wow… sounds like it was a crazy journey to carry to term. I know my ex had ovarian cyst issues. And so we tried right off because we were afraid of waiting too long and not knowing. Thankfully we had one right off. And she made it ok despite crazy circumstances. I can only imagine losing some along that way. I know dealing with the birth of all of them together would have been crazy. But its a different hard when you lose them. I am so happy for you that one made it. And I am sure he is an amazing blessing.

  20. Thank you for sharing your story! It helps to know that others have gone through similar situations- and survived!

  21. These mother’s day miscarriage and infertility leggings area an awesome way to spread awareness. I am sorry for your losses but so happy that you have your son and he is adorable in this photo. Thanks for sharing your story and these awesome leggings.

  22. Thank you for sharing your story. It must have been horrible for you to go through such an experience. My best friend/cousin lost her child when she was 6 months pregnant. So close, and yet, they lost the baby. It took them 6 years after that before they were blessed with a child. I am happy though that you were blessed with you own little angel. He is so precious!

  23. First of all, Happy Mothers day!! I can’t imagine what you endured during all the miscarriages, but you have a healthy son who wanted to be born. And that doctor was rude!

  24. This is a hard topic especially around mothers day. Its a topic people glare over because the baby isnt physically here but every woman who carried a baby should be consider a mom!

  25. We lost a baby in 2011 and it was one of the most painful things in our lives! I can’t image how difficult it would be to loose more than one in on pregnancy! I am SO sorry for your losses!

  26. Oh my goodness I’m so sorry to hear that. Your son is adorable – I know I give mine an extra snuggle when I think about it!

  27. So happy that you’re blessed with a cute little boy. It took us 9 years to finally have our son. I remembered the frustrations and struggles. But I’m thankful today for my children and I couldn’t imagine life without them.

  28. Oh wow I can’t imagine struggling for 9 years. I’m so glad you were able to have your son!

  29. I know it must have been a hard post to put together – I know someone going through something similar. Thank you for sharing your story – this will be helpful to many!

  30. This is never something easy to talk about so I admire you for writing so candidly! So sorry for your loss and I’m so happy your son is happy and healthy!

  31. Thank you for sharing your story! I can’t imagine going through all of that, but I think it is important we share our stories to let other women know they aren’t alone. When I started trying to get pregnant, I was shocked by how many women around me struggled and experienced loss. We remove the stigma by sharing these stories.

  32. To go through miscarriage must be heartbreaking. I understand how you feel and I would want to thank you for sharing your story. This would really be comforting for women to know that there are others with the same experience. I am happy that you have been blessed with a child. Enjoy the journey of parenthood. It will be a bumpy ride ahead, but I am sure you’ll enjoy every minute of it. God Bless!

  33. It’s never easy to conceive and I hate it that people assume like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Most people don’t talk about miscarriage either and that’s never going to help mothers who have gone through it. I think it’s lovely that people are raising awareness on it.

  34. First off, thank you for sharing your story. I can’t even imagine your roller coaster of emotions for 3 years and then during your pregnancy. And then to hear you were pregnant with not just 1 but 4 babies! Talk about the climb and decent. I am glad you have your son, your fighter, but am sorry your family had such a loss. To remembrance of those babies – cheers.

  35. What a story!! Definitely put a lot of things in to perspective that we don’t really think about. I had a bestie who delt with infertility. It was tough

  36. Oh wow. That is such an incredible story. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage, and it is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. I went on after to have a son and twin girls, so I feel very fortunate. Thank you for sharing your story, I know you’ll be helping another momma out there somewhere! And those leggings are adorable!

  37. people who are able to share their stories with others always turn out to be the very best , your story is an inspiration to many. bless up.

  38. Thank you for sharing your story. This is truly a delicate topic so thanks for letting us, your readers, know a bit more info about it.

  39. I love your bravery in sharing this story. I’ve been ghostwriting for a fertility clinic, and the stories I’ve learned and read are such a testament to the strength and resilience of women. I wish topics like this weren’t so taboo, so thank you for sharing! Big virtual hugs!!!

  40. Oh my goodness I think that is amazing you are doing that! I’m sure that you are helping to shine a lot of light on these issues!

  41. What a beautiful post. I entered the giveaway and would like to win the leggings to raise awareness for miscarriage and infertility. These issues affect far too many families.

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